Rollercoaster Ride

The past two days have been characterized by extreme highs and lows, and I have a feeling that it will be this way until I say goodbye to the U.S.A. Yesterday, I had a major emotional breakdown without any provocation whatsoever. I honestly can’t say what caused me to start bawling uncontrollably while sitting in my car outside my mom’s hair salon. All I know is that I continued to cry and sob for the next 45 minutes, leaving me even more tired than I was when I first arrived at the salon.

Today, I woke up feeling good. Great, in fact; and Mama, Mons, and I set out on a morning walk bright and early. Sometime between finishing my walk, packing for Biff’s, and running errands, however, I became incredibly tired and grouchy yet again. I blame a mixture of things: stress, lack of sleep, restless sleep (when I do sleep), a crazy eating schedule, excitement… you get the point. On top of it all, I don’t deal with stress very well. By that, I mean, I don’t realized I’m stressed until it manifests itself as uncontrollable crying, a racing heartbeat, or the sudden urge to eat everything in sight, all three of which have happened in the past two days. My brain simply cannot cope.

In between all of this emotional nonsense, I did eat and get my hair did. 

Wednesday:

Strawberry shake

Veggie sandwich with cherry tomatoes, carrot, and cucumber OTS

Getting our huuurr did.

I don't know where dinner went. I had just woken up, was incredibly groggy, and literally do not remember what it was... I think turkey and tortillas were involved...

Thursday:

Two over easy eggs on tortillas and a cup of strawberries. By this pic, I had already eaten almost all of the strawbs.

Snacktime: almond-raisin scone with tea. So English of me. I'm sure the Queen would approve my having the scone on a paper towel.

Rice cakes topped with cottage cheese and tomatoes and pickle, artichokes, and carrots OTS

Cappuccino courtesy Biff.

Naked burrito from Moe's with basically everything good on it.

On the bright side, today and tomorrow are going to be spent with my Biff, who I’ve dearly missed over the time I’ve been away from her. I don’t even want to think about how 8,000 miles away is going to feel.

I realize that I sound rather melancholic, which I am, but I’m also feeling very happy and eager to fly to my new home. I just have to accept the fact that the next week is going to be a crazy mix of contradicting emotions. Luckily, my loving family will be there to hold my hand every step of the way. God knows I’m going to need it.

On the bright side of things, I found out that I ended up with all A’s for the semester and a 3.7 cumulative GPA. How was this possible? I have no idea… It was a nice reprieve from my low spirits. You know what else always guarantees a cheerful mood?  Thoughts of seeing my future husband for the first time in 9 months. Now I know that I just have to channel those thoughts when I start feeling gloomy.

This Side of the Ocean

Hello fellow fit food lovers! This weekend has been a whirlwind of emotions and stress. I realize that I have recently been writing about my unproductive days and my stressful, homework-laden evenings, making me seem like an unstable, emotional rollercoaster. That, I am not. However, I will admit to succumbing to the pressures of school and life in general. Simply put, it’s making me nuts.

Saturday, I awoke bright and early to leave Biff’s house and head back home. I had homework on the brain. Must accomplish something this weekend. When I arrived, my mama told me that the family would be going to see The Eagle, and if I didn’t have too much to do, I could join. I went, of course, and was happier for it, except for the fact that by 4 pm, I still had not touched school work. Afterward I did a measly amount of work and then was pulled into watching Nanny McPhee. Ok, truthfully, I was asked and gladly obliged.

Here is montage of my Saturday chow, in case you’re curious:

Chocolate Chai with Chobani, oats, and strawberries.

Toasted turkey provolone sandwich, cucumbers, and an apple.

Flat bread pizza. Millet flat bread, ricotta cheese, and roasted tomatoes and onions.

Stuffing my face.

 I didn't eat him, but sometimes I want to. This is the cutest creature on the face of the earth.

Sunday was the same story. I woke up at 6 am with a plan to conquer the world. Unfortunately, all I have to show for the day is a complete workout, 4 pages of writing, and a little bit of “planning.” The other 10 hours of my day were spent eating, walking around the house, talking to my lovey, and procrastinating in every way possible.

Here is a large component of the time-wasting problem:

Black coffee, toast with blueberry jam, banana, and cottage cheese.

My take on fitnessista's recovery smoothie: 4 oz. vanilla almond milk, 5 strawberries, 1 scoop chocolate protein powder, 1 tsp instant coffee, and a handful of ice cubes. Divine.

My unfinished half of pizza.

Veggie soup, GF garlic and mozzarella sausage, french fries, and a half-empty glass of wine. We know how to do it classy.

I just can’t seem to get my brain in gear these days. Through mulling over my dilemma and self-analyzing (as usual), I have realized two things:

Number one: the projects that I have taken on this semester (namely, a wedding and a senior thesis) require structure and extensive planning, neither of which I am good at. I am a very go-with-the-flow kind of person, and I don’t really like to think about things until they are upon me (whether or not that is a good thing is not part of this discussion). Planning stresses me out to the nth degree. Luckily for me, my mom is an amazing event planner. Unluckily for me, no one in my family has a clue what the heck my senior thesis is about.

Number two: in the back of my mind, I keep thinking to myself, these next few months are the end of an era in my life. I will be moving away from my family, getting married, and going to live in a foreign country. I am over-the-moon excited to marry the love of my life, but I am incredibly torn up about leaving my family and my home. I know I will see them again, soon and often, but I can’t help but feel like I have to savor every second of the next few months with them. I don’t even want to miss a trip to the grocery store. If you haven’t gotten it by now, my family means everything to me. It’s going to be so bittersweet to leave.

There you have it folks. I know it’s a little heavy, but I felt the need to explain my unpredictable emotional state these days. It’s a growing process. It’s a journey. It’s what life is all about. I know that in four months, I will be starting the adventure of a lifetime with the person who completes me in every way. But until then, I will be appreciating every little moment with the ones I love on this side of the ocean.