Getting Inside My Head

Greetings from across the pond! I am officially in my new place of residence—South Africa! The past few days of travel have been physically taxing, and I am currently suffering from a lapse in time difference. No matter, I’ll be good as new by tomorrow—or today? Yes, today.

I flew out yesterday (Thursday) at 2:00 PM Florida time, and arrived today at 5:00 PM Joburg time (11 AM Florida time). With 24 hrs total travel time under my belt, I am surprisingly fresh and not dragging (as I write this post at 3 AM). I attribute this to the fact that I had ample leg room on my long-haul flight. To put it simply, it was a dream and by far the best experience I’ve had on that flight. As the day went on, I wondered what I should do for my first post in my new homeland.

Sometimes I’m sitting thinking random thoughts to myself and then step back and say, “Wow, how did I get from point A to point B?” Well today, I will tell the story of my travels by going giving you a little glimpse of what goes on inside my head…

Freakin’ heck. How much does this carry-on weigh? It’s got to be at least 30 lbs. How am I going to carry it, plus my purse, plus my wedding dress. Dear God, help me.

Must. Have. Coffee. Thanks mom. 

 That security line isn’t getting any shorter. I suppose I shouldn’t put off the inevitable. No tears. Bye Mama, bye Mons, see you in 2 weeks!

If I find out that my mom snuck some of those wedding candles into my carry-on, I’m going to kill someone.

Finally, at the terminal. I’m really surprised how fast that process went. Now, to wait. What to do, what to do… OK, don’t stare at anyone. Why are these chairs facing each other? This is so creepy. It’s like forced meeting. “Oh, hello. These chairs make it impossible for me to not look at you. What seat are you in?” Thank heaven, I have nail polish in my bag. Time for a mini manicure.

I think the guy next to me is suffocating from the fumes. Sorry sir, duty calls. Must look pretty. This is nonnegotiable.

Done. I guess I should sit back and look at the ceiling… That girl across from me keeps giving me the stink eye every time I make eye contact.

Time to board. Unfriendly French lady next to me: check. Excuse not to talk to anyone on the flight: check. Snacks: check. 

Veggies and hummus

Think Thin White Chocolate Chip bar. 20 g of protein, no sugar, and gluten free. Is this possible?

I couldn't decide what this tasted like... I'm not sure how I feel about it.

Justin's Chocolate Almond Butter. It was pretty much healthy Nutella.

 What do you mean you don’t have a coat closet? Dear wedding dress, I’m sorry for what I’m about to put you through…

That wasn’t so bad. Now for the long trip. Just make it on the next plane. Prepare yourself. This is going to suck, there’s no way around it.

Now boarding. Coat closet! Great success. What? I get a seat with lots of leg room? Don’t mind if I do.

Hello 45 C. I like you. Although I just got these Think Thin bars for review, I will be kind enough to share one with your hungry, unprepared self.

Speaking of hunger, when’s dinner coming??

Ahh, yes, I did order a gluten-free meal. Thank you kind flight attendant… Ummm, this roll clearly says “100% Wheat.” Last time I checked, wheat has gluten. Thanks South African Airways for almost killing me. I no longer trust your gluten-free skills.

Would it be bad to put my feet up against the wall like a 5-year-old? Who cares.

I am loving No Strings Attached. I hope my laughing aloud is not disturbing my friend—or making him question my sanity…

8 hours down, 1 hour to refuel, 8 more hours to fly. Peace out, 45 C. It was nice to meet you. Enjoy Dakar. I should make an itinerary for my next 8 hours. Ok, OCD person, what’s gotten into you? That is completely unnecessary.

Hello new friend. Nice South African lady friend. Pleasure to meet you. I hope you don’t talk too much.

Breakfast time. What? This bagel says, “Wheat and Barley Whole Grain.” This is crazy. You know what else is crazy: taking pictures of food in the airplane. No friend, I am not a nut job, just a food blogger.

Death bagel, omelet, mushy potatoes, unsafe yogurt, and delicious fruit (my only consolation).

Good evening/afternoon/ morning, Exhaustion. I would indeed be much obliged to succumb to your charms for the next 4 hours.

I am loving this book, Eat, Pray, Love. You know what else I am loving? The freedom to read for fun.

2 hours to go: What to do, what to do… Jamie Oliver 30 minute meals? Yes, please.

1 ½ hours to go: Oh, there’s lunch. I’m not expecting much… Awesome, another wheat roll and the same thing I had for dinner, except covered in sauce. Pass. Good thing I took a chance and packed a ridiculous amount of cut up veggies and fruit. Score.

Chicken, rice, 3 broccoli florets, WHEAT ROLL, and measly salad.

 1 hour to go: Primp time. I would like to take this time to clarify that I am not a world-class super-primper, but times like these necessitate looking DAMN good. I wonder if I could plug in my straightener in the bathroom… Every time I take off my neck pillow, the static cling makes me look like I just stuck my dinner fork into a light socket. Nope, straightener doesn’t fit. Brush teeth, wash face, freshen up, brush hair, hope for the best.

Fantastic landing. Bravo captain man. I hope passport control and customs doesn’t take too long. Please let us out of this plane. We do NOT need a health inspection.

Don’t run, you’ll raise suspicions. You will see him momentarily.

There they are! Ok, running is fine…

After all of this nonsense, I finally was able to see my husband-to-be for the first time in 9 months.

As my mother said, "The love birds are back together."

It feels like no time has passed since I saw him last. When I arrived back at the house, my favorite meal was on the stove. 

Lamb knuckles, brown rice, peas, carrots, potatoes, and salad OTS.

 They love me here (because I’m awesome, of course). I am so happy to be back to this awesome place and to be living in a new home. I can’t wait to share my future adventures with you!

So close, and Yet So Far

I am writing this post while devouring the last bit of strawberries and dark chocolate and watching Little Fockers, which may end up going down in my personal comedy hall of fame.

I have spent the entirety of the day working on my thesis. Literally, I have not left my room except to walk for an hour and eat these 4 delish meals:

Oats with extremely ripe banana and peanut butter

Spinach and asiago cheese chicken sausage, toast with hummus, and carrots.

Pear with cottage cheese

Grilled chicken breast, asparagus, and a pickle with a nice glass of red wine.

Yesterday was significantly better than today. It got started rather late. So late, in fact, that I didn’t eat breakfast. I don’t remember the last time I didn’t start my day with some eats, but since I knew I would be having an early lunchtime with Mama and several home school kidlets, I managed to go two hours on only coffee.  

We hit up the local Puerto Rican restaurant for some cultural fare.

Mons and her empanadillas

Side salad

Carbolicious grease-covered yumminess.

Black beans, rice, and platanos maduros

Cuzzo with a ridiculous amount of food

Afterward, Mons joined Biff, Megaleg, for fro yo at our favorite joint.

Sugar-free vanilla almond custard for me, mint chocolate chip for Mons.

Following our sweet adventure, we hit up the school pool for a mini layout session. It was unsuccessful due to the fact that the sun was hiding behind clouds.

Afterward, we headed home and I spent the rest of the night having some much needed down time. No photos were taken of the rest of the days’ food, but there was some major snacktion. Here’s the low down:

• cucumbers and hummus
• sweet peppers
• a pear
• almond milk protein shake.

Sunday promises to be just as dull as today, at least for the first half. I have resolved to finish my thesis by tomorrow night. Monday will also be filled with academic tasks. I’m not excited about it. But the hard work is going to pay off. I just have to keep trucking along, knocking out one assignment at a time. Only 5 major assignments to go before being  done-zo.

Not Meant To Be

I’ve been noticing a recurring trend on this blog I like to call “recapping,” which translated means, “I was too busy and/or lazy to post. Sorry this is late.” But the way I see it is, if it doesn’t happen, then it’s not meant to be.

Over the past two days, it felt like nothing was meant to be.

 First, it was the food…

Wednesday morning, I decided to make Carrot Cake Oatmeal. Sounds awesome, right? Well, it would have been, had I not added protein powder at the end, which created a chunky/crumbly texture. I ate it anyway. But the goodness I was expecting just wasn’t there.

Carrot Cake Crumble. Bleh.

 As I laid in bed Wednesday night fantasizing over what I would be eating for breakfast the next morning (yes, I do this), I resolved to replicate Wednesday’s lunch.

French toast with peanut butter and cinnamon and sweet ricotta. Large pear OTS.

But, I awoke Thursday morning feeling something a little different. Obviously, round 2 of French toast wasn’t meant to be.

Chopped pear and over-easy eggs on toast.

Wednesday night, I prepared myself a rather large meal because, you guessed it, I was HUNGRY. But I quickly realized that I would not be finishing the second half of this chicken sausage. Gigantor had no problem finishing it off for me.

Boiled turnips with balsamic vinegar, sauteed cabbage, and three-cheese chicken sausage.

And then it was the workouts…

Wednesday morning, I woke up not feeling like working out, which is a pretty rare occurrence for me. Convincing myself that it working out was non-negotiable, I decided to go for a walk. At that precise moment, that annoying weather alert noise came on the teli and informed me that there were severe weather and tornado warnings going on in our area. So much for the walk. Instead, I figured I’d conduct my own step class and do some abs workouts while watching an episode of Anthony Bourdain’s  No Reservations.

During my “workout” I got three phone calls, was asked to move the car inside, and my yoga mat got hijacked by the dogs. Frustrated, I ended up ignoring the weather warnings and went for a walk to get 10 minutes of something in. On my way, I was stopped two separate times by neighbors (who normally don’t give me the time of day) suddenly caring about my life. Drat.

A similar situation arose on Thursday when Biff and I made our weekly trek over the school gym for Zumba class. It was canceled, so we opted for 30 minutes on the elliptical. The workout felt mediocre at best, and I felt pretty bummed that it was my second day of less-than-stellar sweat sessions.

And then it was the blog posts, or lack thereof…

On Wednesday, the aggravation of teachers not wanting to help me with the biggest project of my college career had me boiling and wanting nothing to do with this blog. I figured I’d make it up on Thursday. However, when I arrived at Biff’s house, I notice that the only thing I forgot to pack was the USB cable for my camera.

We were having a moment...

This stumpy post was the result.

And finally, going to class…

On Thursday, I drove to school in the rain and before going to class, I took my stuff to Biff’s apartment. As if it were scheduled, I shut the door to Biff’s app and heard the heavens open up. A monsoon ensued. 

Downpour.

Rather than get drenched on my way to the most pointless class I have ever taken, I chose to stay indoors. 

Pretending to be dissapointed... Can we just take a second and look at that wayward strand on the left??

I took an early morning nap with my Biff, woke up, checked my inbox, and came across an email from my second professor of the day. It read:

Dear All, this weather is insane. There is a tornado warning right now. You should stay inside and stay safe. Don't come to class.

Thank you, Professor Awesomeness.

Instead of going to school, I snacked my way through the day, as per usual.

Celery with peanut butter (stolen from Biff), carrots, pickle, and Angus beef pastrami.

Quinoa with salsa and sauteed cabbage. Yes, I ate sitting on the carpet. I was criss-cross applesauce too.

Dark chocolate, courtesy that girl in the background.

I love seasonal fruits.

Pop.

 Although the last two days did not follow my pre-established plans in any way, shape, or form, I’m not complaining. I just keep telling myself that all that stuff that was supposed to happen just wasn’t meant to be.

How NOT to Starve to Death

Before we get started, I want to send a shout-out to my Biff! It's her birthday, so go read her blog and tell her to have a happy one! http://fashionablyplate.blogspot.com/

Now, let's talk about Tuesday. It was a bad day in Ashley’s world of food. It started out great, but then took a swift turn toward the worst…

I ate a lovely breakfast of sacred muffins.

Chobani, banana, and banana muff.

 When it was snack time (precisely 11:15), I munched on a yummy apple.So far, so good.

When lunch time rolled around, I was starved. Biff and I took advantage of the balmy Florida weather and sat by the school fountain to eat.

Biff chatting it up.

 Rather excitedly, I unzipped my backpack and reached inside for my bagged lunch. To my shock and horror, the main event of my meal was MIA. I frantically began searching my bag in hopes that the missing Tupperware would appear emerge from the darkness, but nothing. My long awaited sweet potato had been left at home. Curses! All I was left with was a measly salad and an apple sauce.

Overwhelmed with sadness.

 As I reluctantly poured on the dressing, a brilliant idea came to me. My hypoglycemic mother has always taught me never to leave the house without a snack in your purse- you never know when you’re going to need a blood sugar boost, or in my case, be hungry. I remembered that I had in my possession a bag of raisins and almonds. Sweet relief. I hurriedly scrounged for the nuts and sprinkled them on my salad. On my hunt, I also found a Just Great Stuff bar from Betty Lou’s for an afternoon snack. My lucky day.

 My tummy wasn’t quite as happy as it would have been with a potato in it, but it was satisfied.

Within two hours, it became very clear that “satisfied” is not enough to keep me going. I need “full.” I spent the whole afternoon hungry and wanting to eat. Even though I ate a bar and an orange that I confiscated from my aunt’s house on the way home, my stomach was on a rampage. I needed some serious food.

I could feel my stomach slowly eating itself as I arrived home, and I headed for that dang sweet potato. In the interest of time, I settled for a side of frozen vegetables and some rolled up turkey.

I scarfed this down faster than you can say, "Bops your uncle." Although I don't know why you would say such a thing....

 Never has a meal tasted so good. I don’t even want to imagine what my day would have been like if I didn’t have snacks stashed away for days like this. I may not have been here to type this post. You would have cried, I know. It was a close call, but I made it out alive.

The moral of this story is: Always keep a spare snack in your purse, gym bag, car, or desk drawer, because you never know when hunger is going to strike.