Food Snob

In case you haven’t caught on yet, I am always psychoanalyzing myself in some way, trying to explain the reasoning behind my sometimes ridiculous actions (See, I’m doing it right now.) I am forever concluding something, realizing something, or otherwise rationalizing why I do the things that I do. This weekend was no different. It was revealed to me that I am a gigantic food snob. Yes, snob. That’s such a horrible word, but I suppose, if the shoe fits…

The first sign of this was on Friday as I made my usual rounds to the home school co-op my sister attends. I was there as a “guest speaker” to teach some Latin dances for la clase de Español. Aaah good times.

Don't we all look like we are in time? Boys sitting on the side watching...

After that class period comes lunch. As I watched the craziness of 20 people sharing one kitchen take place in front of me, I found myself critiquing everyone’s lunch (in my head, of course). You should really flip that now. Better watch that or it’s going to get burnt. Ugh, you are definitely overcooking that. Once negativity had completely flooded my brain, I had to say to myself, These are kids, for crying out loud. Chill the heck out. And besides, my lunch of chicken sausage and sauerkraut was no gourmet meal (and not picture-worthy)… but it was organic…

That night, since my mom and sister were incognito, I felt inspired to feed my cooking-impaired step-dad and grandfather. I made a delicious meal, if I do say so myself. 

Mediterranean Chicken Quiche

Quiche, Spaghetti Squash with Onion and Garlic Sauce, and Carrots

 The only problem with this meal was that it took precedence over working out. Tisk, tisk.

On Saturday, my family and I attended the wedding of a long-time friend of mine.

Newlyweds, Me, Lil' Sis

The Fam

 The western-themed wedding’s dinner consisted of barbeque chicken, chopped beef (or pork?), broad beans, corn on the cob, salad, and buns (for the beef/pork stuff). As I walked through the buffet line, I was in a predicament. Starvation was quickly setting in, but thoughts of gluten-attacks flashed through my brain. O sweet Mother of God, protect my stomach. 

Since I wasn’t sure how seriously my prayer was taken, I gulped down about 6 Gluten-zymes. Way over dosage, but desperate times call for desperate measures.  While I was consuming this butter and possibly gluten-laden dinner, I had bad thoughts. To my delight, the chicken was absolutely to die for. Luckily, no attacks of any kind, gluten or otherwise, followed my meal (I am currently imagining what other kinds of attacks could have occurred…). Ha.

Sunday, my mother decided we should go out for breakfast. I had already eaten, but I was fine with it. Whatevs. By the time we got to Bob Evans, however, I was hungry again. In looking over the menu, everything looked so good. I was really craving an omelet, but unfortunately, my mind set right about doing its dirty work. I wonder how often they clean their grill. I bet they drench that thing with oil before pouring on some fake egg mixture. The veggies are probably frozen. I wonder how long the cook has been cooking. I bet it’s some kid who doesn’t even have an appreciation for food. Ugh. I changed my mind and ordered a salad, making sure to ask for the ham on the side (since I knew it would probably be those small cubes of processed pink goop disguised as ham). I had more faith in the “sliced turkey”, but to my disdain, it was also turned out to be processed something-or-other.

To my surprise, the salad was extremely tasty. The veggies were crisp and green (although I did get a few squishy tomatoes which I pushed to the side). I topped it with some lemon juice and olive oil.

You may be thinking, “Wow, what a narcissistic *bleep bleep.” Actually, when Biff heard what this post was going to be about, her statement as, “Gosh, I never want to cook in front of you.” I am not some amazing culinary genius. I am just someone who has a love and passion for good food. Sometimes, other people’s food is just gross, and I am not going to apologize for that.

But when I sat back and thought about it, I realized that not everything is going to be gourmet in this life. That comes in the next (There better be some good food up there. Fingers crossed :)). Sometimes, you have to just ignore the bad things that might come along with eating at what looks like less-than-stellar food and relish the culinary creations that are set before you. Appreciate the little things. Life is about enjoyment and finding something good in everything you see. So eat up, enjoy your life, and enjoy your food.